Thursday, November 21, 2013

Hey, my beautiful readers,

I absolutely cannot believe the tragedy of Bertha’s death. I mean, she jumped off a building, that would've really hurt; still I can’t help but feel great that it wasn't me. Today, my dear readers, I have a found a reason to be thankful for life. I guess everyone is mourning now, although I have to admit I don’t really see the point; I mean I am sure we would've been great friends but she was crazy. I guess Rochester has driven a few other girls mad too, it was to be expected; naturally I could sense his sly undertone and I got myself out of there as soon as I could. I think I’m like part psychic, you guys tell me what you think. I kind of feel bad for Bertha, cause that could have been me in a few years’ time.

Totally Blanche xx

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Hey, my beautiful readers!

Oh my goodness, I was on television! Oh, if only it wasn’t so early in the morning… Anyway, did you all like my outfit? The dress is new, and the fur shawl was from my mother to borrow. Sadly, she is very protective over her more expensive and exotic items of clothing. I shall ask her if I can borrow it again for the next party we attend… I’ll keep you all updated if I receive invites for anymore. Although, I hope they will not result into the magnitude of chaos Mr Rochester’s party had! And if I do get invited to anymore parties, I shall not be getting my hair styled by a certain somebody! I mean, look at it! bit.ly/whereisjaneeyre Ugh! This has just been a horrible month altogether!

Speaking of Mr Rochester… he is in some very deep water. I just cannot believe his brazen behaviour regarding not only his not-so-secret-first-wife but also that he hoped Jane would be alright with it! I may not like Miss Eyre (I certainly don’t hate her anymore), but no one should be treated this way! It is utterly degrading and humiliating, and I am appalled by Mr Rochester and his lack of sense! Jane has already had enough to deal with; her ruined wedding, the fact that she has become an overnight public figure with a scandal above her head, and now the whole of rural England is searching for her! I do not (sadly) have any personal information from Mr Rochester or Jane about this scandal, but from what the interviewers have explained – I honestly understand why Jane left. And in my honest opinion (when has my opinion never been honest?!), I think that time away from each other will be extremely beneficial to the both of them; neither of them are in their right mind to be thinking logically, and Mr Rochester has clearly not been consulting his morality throughout their unlawful courtship – I doubt he will begin anytime soon!

Besides, Mr Rochester definitely owes my family (mainly I) an apology! My usually sated brother is enraged at our (my!) association with this whole mess! Mr Rochester has shamed us all with his sinful actions, and honestly the only benefit to this whole experience was that I was on live television and that he is no longer courting me! If we were wed however, and I found out about a “secret wife” I would:
1)            Slap him silly with my silk gloves (propriety, be damned!)
2)            Throw the gloves to the ground and make retrieve them
3)            Repeat step 1
4)            Throw the gloves at his face
5)            Make an exit
6)            Ride my mare Freida until I am flushed and exhausted
7)            Repeat steps 1-6 until he annuls the marriage with his “secret wife” and buys me jewels
What would you do if you were in Jane’s position? Comment below, I love hearing from you!



Totally Blanche xx

Monday, November 18, 2013

Hey, my beautiful readers!

I've just saw Mr Rochester on the news today begging Jane to come home. She's such a drama queen!! She's only doing this for all the attention - I simply can't believe she's behaving in such a childlike manner. And don't get me started on Mr Rochester.

Firstly, he let me escape, I was going to be the best wife he ever had. Secondly, he cant even keep Jane around. He's so pathetic even a lowly governess would leave him. And now thirdly, he's publically begging her to come back, completely humiliating himself. If we were still together I would be so completely embarrassed.

Totally Blanche xx

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Hey, my beautiful readers!

I've just heard that Jane has run away from Mr Rochester. Obviously I knew that they weren't right for each other. And, because I know them, I will be interviewed on TV on Wednesday, look out for me!

Totally Blanche xx
Hey, my beautiful readers!

I have just heard that that useless girl Jane is now engaged to Mr Rochester, Mr Rochester! Of all people! Well, whatever, that man was never rich enough for me anyway, according to that crazy old gipsy. But why her? I am in every way more attractive, higher-classed, and certainly smarter than that low-life, I simply don't understand why Mr Rochester would choose to marry her over me. *sigh* but as I said before, that man was never rich enough for me.

Totally Blanche xx
Hey, my beautiful readers!

Last night I got woken up at some ungodly hour by a loud ear piercing shriek of pain. Everyone was panicked and crazy running around like headless chicken. There was no order at all!! Eventually Mr Rochester showed up and informed us all that a servant had a vivid nightmare and it was her that shrieked. I was so annoyed!! I can't believe that a lowly servant caused me to miss out on my beauty sleep!!!



Totally Blanche xx
Hey, my beautiful readers!

Earlier today - after dinner in fact- a strange gipsy women came to the house. Mr Eshton wished her to be thrown out immediately but Colonel Dent encouraged us to see him. Mother of course protested saying it was lowly and idiotic. I wasn’t surprised, that's what mother always says about anything remotely interesting and new. Partly to spite mother and partly because I was curious to get my fortune told. Turns out, that old hag didn't want to appear in front of everyone and would only speak to the young and single women alone. Of course I went first….


According to the gipsy, Mr Rochester is not as rich as he pretends to be!! I'm was so surprised I could barely keep a straight face in front of the others when I went back. Originally I refused to believe it was true, but the strange gipsy women had no reason to lie. But I just can't believe he would lie to all of us. Especially me. I thought we had something special, but everything was a lie. I simply cannot marry someone who lied to me and isn't actually rich. 

Totally Blanche xx